Love and hate … and everything in between

Steps in my Life

Vacation is calling!

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to leave a little note to let you all know I am going on vacation, returning February 16th 🙂 I am super excited to have this time in the sun! My hubsy and I are going to Santa Maria, Cuba! It will be my 2nd time in Cuba and I loved it before and am hoping to have a great time again 🙂

Below is a picture of the resort we will be staying at that I found online. Upon my return, I will have many photos pf my very own to share. Hope everyone has a great week and will be back here in a weeks time 🙂


Such a heart wrenching dilemma …..

House shopping! Your heart is invested into it. Your mind is running ramped with thinking about so many factors – both present and those that will affect you in the future. This is where I am at. I am torn between everything and anything. One thing that I do like about having a blog is that you can write down your thoughts and try to make sense of something.

My heart wrenching dilemma is in regards to a house. I know it may be a weird thing to get so torn about but this is how I am feeling at this time.

We found a house. A beautiful house. The house of our dreams. It has everything we want and more. Inside it is gorgeous and we see ourselves living in there and raising our family in the future. It is ideal in every single aspect …. except one. Even though it is only one single thing that bothers us it is, nonetheless, a very large concern – power lines! Power lines in the back of the house! Power lines in clear, visible view when in the backyard. Power lines that carry not only resale concern down the road, an eye soar to look at and most importantly, health concerns.

The power lines are roughly 100 meters from the house. They aren’t in our backyard, and there is a large enough gap before they start, but nonetheless, they are close enough to worry.

I read up on EMF (ElectroMagnetic Field) concerns, the fact that there are studies (even though inconclusive) that say the magnetic field it generates causes cancer and leukemia in children. It is a real fear and yet the more I research it, the more confused I get. Even though today there is no clear and solid proof of anything, how can anyone really know!??!!

I am worried to miss out of the perfect house and yet I am worried to take it because of health concerns. I know people will say that we will find another house we love just as much if not more – but I know myself and I know that this is it for me. I will love another house because I will have to – not because I will want to.

There is no real point to the post lol I just wanted to  get some feelings out and perhaps someone may read this and provide some real insight to my situation. I will not gamble with our health, but if I am perfectly honest, I do wonder how much of this is hype and set out there by social and media fear and perception and how much of it is real actual, proven fact!

I keep on going back and forth, and back and forth …. and even now back and forth … HELP!!!!


Here you can see the long row that runs all the way down a few blocks in the area.


This is the one that is by the house in question. It is more off to the side in real life but this is the only picture I have.


Memories go a long way

How much do you remember on a regular basis? Memories are both fickle and intentional. While I cannot necessarily remember what I did last month, I seem to have a very clear and distinct memory of my first year in Canada. My family and I immigrated to Canada when I was 6 years old. Whereas I wasn’t to bothered about what was happening at that time (again I was 6 :)), I do have lots of memories of events, people and situations.

I remember my first day at an all English school – I should mention I did not speak a single word of English. I remember our apartment and the view of the hills and park. And I also remember my parents fear and hopelessness when the realization hit as to what we actually embarked on. Even though it was a hard time for all of us, we fought through – sometimes with each other – and we persevered to become the people we are today, in the place we are today.

Memories seem to stick to me like a tv show. I remember vividly as it was happening right in front of me. Some of those memories are ones I do not wish to remember. Those memories seem to the most of vivid of them all. And why is that?? To learn from them?  To ensure not to repeat them? Or to live in consequence of them?

I cannot say I have had an easy childhood, or even now as a young adult. But I had tremendous memories as well, ones that make me smile, ones that make me sad (for good reasons), and ones that I am happy to have lived and shared with others. I listen to music pretty much everyday. No matter what country we traveled to, one thing that was familiar and safe in all of those area was the music. And with each song along the journey, I had attached a memory to it. I guess that is where my undying love for the good old oldies comes from – it holds the key to all those memories.

We value our memories, whether we want to or not. And they hold such power for us because of the people they are associated with. I hold strong memories of my mother, my father and sister. For the longest time in my life all we had, was each other. And as time goes on, we let others into our lives and allow them to leave memories of their own.

But people change. People diverge from what you knew them to be, they change their roles in your life, they change their importance and they change their place. And when those people change completely, and you are staring into a face that is unfamiliar, you can close your eyes and reminisce about who that person once was.  You can close your eyes and go look into those memories you had stored of them. Because the fact is that when push comes to shove, memories really do go a long way.

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What to do with all this snow??

Why take a trip away from it of course 🙂

I love snow and tons of it during the holiday season. It was a week before Christmas and there was still no sign of any snow. There was no sign of a single snowflake anywhere. To me, Christmas is not only about family, food and of course presents (!) but it is also about the snow falling outside. Eventually we did get some snow on Christmas Eve, but the majority of the snow fall is happening right now. Take a look ….

My walk to and from work.

Out with the green in with the white.

I find snow covered trees to be just beautiful!

The beauty of winter is apparent. And on a windless day it is a joy to be walking through this winter wonderland. But that eventually does wear off hehe 🙂

So husband and I have decided to take a little break. We have booked a trip to Cuba!! I am so super excited for this trip. We have been once before 2 years ago and just loved it. I love the trip down south to an all-inclusive resort mainly because it is a perfect stress-free vacation. No worries, no planning, no thinking … pure happiness 🙂 We will be going to Cayo Santa Maria, a place I have not  been to before so am excited for the new adventure to start. Now all I have to do is wait till February 7th …. and so I wait.

Yoga anyone

I have worked out in my life on numerous occasions. I don’t consider myself in need of constant exercise … but then again it wouldn’t hurt me either 😉  In the new year I started thinking about resolutions and of course weight loss always comes to mind. But this time I took a different twist on it. Instead of sweating away in the gym, I have decided to do a different form of exercise – yoga!

Last year was a big year for me – filled with great joy but also I was faced with sadness, irritation and anger. Till this day when I think about certain things I can’t help buy get all riled up about it. I have a hard time letting go, especially when I feel a close friend or family member betrayed me. In thinking about resolutions and the new year ahead, I knew that the only thing I wanted to improve was my emotional and mental health! I know I need to let go, I know I need to let things not bother me, I know I need to do something about this or it will eat me up forever.

This is where yoga comes into play. A friend of mine gave me a dvd and one day I actually played it and was pleasantly surprised. I did the poses all the way through and felt amazing!! I felt a great weight was lifted off of my shoulders, I felt more at peace with myself and when I thought of those hurtful things …. I actually didn’t care 🙂 I felt hope where I haven’t felt in a long time and I was happy!

Yoga can do so much for a person. It releases tension and stress, it gives you great posture and flexibility … it is the kind of exercise that I feel I need at this time in my life. I really think all of you guys should give it a try. Start slow and just enjoy what it offers you. Get a new lease of life in this new year, and give yoga a try.

A selection too overwhelming

My husband and I have been in the process of house hunting. We have been doing so for a while now (since last August) and I find the whole thing a bit overwhelming.

We started off looking into new builds – the idea intrigued me. To come up with a whole new design, straight from my brain onto walls, cabinets and floors. What could be better than a turn-key home?! I loved the hands on aspect, I loved the fact that I was part of the process. So what could turn me away from the idea? The same process that I just happily wrote about! As much as there is a good feeling about DIY homes – there is a large downside.

The wait period is a big factor. Just as I had found the home that I dreamed off, I had also learned of their lots sales and building periods. In the end we would be able to move into that dream home in late 2013! 2013!? I can’t possibly wait that long. In discussing and doing all our research (as we all should in such an investment) I had learned of the overwhelming design and decor knowledge that one much possess. Yes you can hire a designer but the added cost is significant when you are starting out. I spent a lot of time on the internet during these periods, looking at homes, designer pages, flipping through magazines …. the time spent was significant.

In the end we did move on. The time, cost and emotional toll was simply to great. So now we had moved on to resale homes. And yet what great factor do we now face?! Well the fact that it is very hard to get those beautiful new homes out of my mind! It is hard to come from a freshly painted, modern and sleek design into someone’s idea of decor and class. From neon green walls to blue carpet with matching couches … it is hard to get past … the ugly …. if I may 😦

The search now continues. My desire to settle down and have a home to call my own is great and very present in my thoughts. We have some potential homes that we want to see and yet it is so hard to go view the homes in person, when the pictures do not excite me. I must bite the bullet and go in … you never know what is hidden behind those neon green walls and the blue couches 🙂

So let it begin …

… the love and hate … and everything in between.

The purpose of this blog is still unknown, as is the direction I will take with it. I have a lot to say, a lot of thoughts and finally a forum to leave them on. I have many passions – photography, DIY crafts and writing … in no particular order … and yet no clear goal or direction with any of those facets of my life.  I am to shy to pursue one aspect, to impatient for another, yet the desire to fulfill is still there.

I have a loving husband, a loyal pet and a complicated family. All reasons why I am the person I am today and all the reason why I strive to better the person that I am today.

With the New Year at hand, I have not so much a resolution but a true and honest attempt to fulfill my desire to be creative, to open myself to the world and to overcome the demons within. I hold a typical government job, starting my life with my husband as a newlywed and trying to survive in a greatly complex family environment. To overcome all issues would be the ultimate success in life and ultimately what one strive to achieve.

That desire starts today with the release of this first post. I thank you for starting the journey with me.